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The Fairytale and the Abyss

Navigating new motherhood and Stage 4 cancer

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We are all terminal

November 27, 2019 cait811 Comment

Strangely this isn’t a comment people like to hear – I’ve found it goes down particularly badly with doctors. But it is true. None of us are getting out of here alive. However for various reasons I don’t consider myself terminally ill. I’ve wondered whether I’m in a state of denial, but I think it… Continue reading We are all terminal

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All I want for Christmas…

November 25, 2019 cait811 Comment

I wrote a short piece for HerCanberra https://hercanberra.com.au/cplife/want-christmas-cancer-research/

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All health care is not equal – my best advice

November 7, 2019 cait811 Comment

In Australia we are very lucky to have a public health system. Treatments and medications are covered to a certain extent for all sorts of things. Prior to diagnosis, and due to growing up in a major city, I’d assumed that the quality of care across Australia was much the same. While I knew through… Continue reading All health care is not equal – my best advice

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Clinical trial update

November 4, 2019 cait81Leave a comment

Just a quick one to let you know that my first scans on the trial were largely stable. No new cancer and a small amount of growth within the margin of error for measurement. So I am continuing on…

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National Carers Week

October 16, 2019 cait81Leave a comment

This week is National Carers Week and I wanted to acknowledge my wonderful carers. I cannot imagine how I would have coped or how I would continue to cope without them – particularly my husband David and my parents, Mum, Dad and Anna. When you are young and healthy and standing up making promises at… Continue reading National Carers Week

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I’m a lab rat

September 7, 2019 cait816 Comments

On Monday I started my clinical trial at Peter Mac. It is an immunotherapy combination trial. Essentially my type of bowel cancer doesn’t respond well to immunotherapy alone, so this trial adds another agent to try to change the tumour micro environment to increase the response. It was a long day, with bloods at 7:30am,… Continue reading I’m a lab rat

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Four years

August 13, 2019August 13, 2019 cait812 Comments

It’s four years since my stage IV diagnosis. I can’t quite believe it. I remember when I was first diagnosed and confronted with the fact that I only had a five percent chance of living five years it seemed unimaginable that I would still be here. And yet here I am. I am indescribably grateful… Continue reading Four years

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Lab rat time

June 12, 2019 cait815 Comments

Since I last wrote my markers have been on a steady (but not terrifying rise). We made the decision to add the irinotecan back in to the protocol but even at its highest dose it appears I’m resistant. I had treatment on Monday and I have decided that bar some amazing scan results next week… Continue reading Lab rat time

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But Mummies Don’t Die…

March 25, 2019March 25, 2019 cait814 Comments

Violet has recently been begun to grapple with the idea of death. David’s very lovely grandmother Joyce (one of Violet’s middle names) died earlier this year and after some thought we took Violet to the funeral. Violet and I also came across a dead bird while on a walk and she has been talking about… Continue reading But Mummies Don’t Die…

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Cancer envy

March 4, 2019 cait812 Comments

A strange concept to most, but something that I’ve been thinking quite a lot about over the past few years. I’ve always had a tendency to jealousy and envy and a desire to be the most favourite. It is one of the things I like least about myself and has caused me much unhappiness, particularly… Continue reading Cancer envy

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mylifeasacasestudy on We are all terminal
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